Thought for Thursday: Giving Birth

Okay, so many of you mothers might be laughing at me right about now, but my topic today is one that totally FREAKS me out....

Giving birth. ( Don't jump to any conclusions here, people!)

Nope, I've never done it and if I think about it enough, I start wondering if I could ever go through with it.  I have always planned to have kids someday, but I have heard enough horror stories of difficult births (and even damage done to babies) from friends of mine and others, that it really does scare me.  Some say they'd never do it again, others think you forget about the pain and trauma as soon as that bundle of joy is born.

Is that totally irrational? Obviously these days it seems that things are made easier with drugs and even by having c-sect.  Seems to me that c-sect is the way to go! Did you know that in Mexico women are given a choice whether they want to have a c-sect or have it naturally? Doesn't even have to be medically necessary. What a nice choice! I just don't think I could do it naturally (good God, I am getting sick thinking about it), but the thought of an epidural and losing feeling freaks me out too! Is it a scary feeling or is it a blessing?

Today I am asking you mothers to think back to before you had your first child....were you freaked out about giving birth? How did the experience compare to what you were expecting? What do you wish had gone differently?

Any other non-mothers as afraid of this as I am?

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Other TFT posters this week:

Stacy on children of the 80's

Jessica on one year old bday parties

Jenny on emergency management

Michelle on different diets

Emilie on waxing

Heather on germs

Michann on communicating the old school way

Apryl on procrastination

Robyn on one person making a difference

April on astrology

Comments

[Valerie]

I am scared too of child birth. And Jared and I do want children but I always figure I can just deal with child birth when I get there, there's no turning back then, right?! Scared of the pain for sure though!! Hope you're feeling better!!

[michelle]

Well, I think I was afraid the first time around just because it was a new experience. But, after 9 months of carrying the kid, you just want them out and will do whatever to accomplish that. Am I afraid of my pending birth? Yes, it's still in my head. But, the birth itself isn't what scares me. This is going to sound stupid, but I'm more afraid of throwing up during the surgery, than I am of the whole process. Seriously, I hate throwing up. I'm also afraid of the whole range of emotions and hormones that will be racing through my body. It's a lot to handle.

I am one of those people that would never want to give birth naturally. Seriously, ouch! I can't even fathom how that works. But, I've had 2 almost 3 csections and have had very positive experiences. I definitely think it's the way to go! The spinal is a life-saver though, without it, I wouldn't be awake to witness the birth. It's a bit weird not feeling your lower half, but when you actually notice it, you don't really pay attention because you are holding your little baby.

I really believe that I'd do it over and over and over again, you do forget the pain of pregnancy and birth very quickly. Why do you think these old tubes of mine will be tied? I'd have too many kids to count if I didn't! Really, it's not terrifying, what people should be terrified about is actually raising a child. It's tough work, but so worth it!

[adrienne]

Don't let other peoples stories scare you off. I have given birth three times and they have ALL been different. My first was hard, my second, the epidural did NOT kick in until after I had her lol, and my third was a piece of cake. I was never afraid, but I dont think I actually thought about it either lol.

[Toni Ecklund]

True.. everyones labor is different(Georgia and Cidney were night and day). But the one thing that I have heard over and over again is...I would do it again in a heartbeat. Yes there is going to be pain, yes you might blow chunks, yes you might shit while pushing your bundle of joy out, yes you might think why the hell did I decide to do this to myself (well, a boy is involved too!) But it is sooooo true that once you see your child for the first time and hold him or her in your arms. IT ALL MAKES SENSE !! And a love like you've never known floods into your heart. No words can describe the amount and type of love you feel. It's a love greater than the love for a guy or even your family. In an instant you know that you would do EVERYTHING and anything within your power to keep them safe and cared for no matter what. It's the most unselfish love on earth. Every woman I thinks at some point worries. But like I said in the end it all makes sense !

[heather]

Hehe, Kristi I was just like you before I had kids. I just wanted to plan a c-section and get it overwith, no pain of labor or delivery involved. I was terrified. I have to say one positive to that though is that if you expect the absolute worst... if you are aware of the pain and of the risks and you expect the worst you will only be pleasantly surprised. haha!

Seriously, in the end, I'd take doing the labor and delivery any day over the whole 9 (10) months of pregnancy. With an epidural of course. For me, that part was easy and relatively quick compared to the nine months leading up to it. Although I knew I wanted an epidural, no question, I was nervous about it. By the time I got it though, I was in so much pain that I didn't even remember to be nervous about it. And then I was in heaven. It was such a relief. There is no way I could fathom getting through a whole labor in that kind of pain. The way I look at it is, you can do it in excruciating overwhelming pain, sick and almost oblivious to what's going on around you (that's how I felt only halfway through) or you can do it relatively pain free and actually experience what's going on around you. With the epidural, you can still feel things... it's not like you're paralyzed or completely numb... you still feel the tightening of the contractions and you can still feel your legs and such, just not the pain. And you can't get up and walk. You still feel what's going on with your body; I could still feel when my body was ready to push, and then do it. I guess everyone's experience is different.
Like I said, labor and delivery was almost the easiest part of the whole thing for me... with my first, my water broke at home in the middle of the night, we went to the hospital at about 3am, I had the epidural by about 9am, was ready to go by noon, pushed for 10 minutes (three contractions) and she was born at 12:30.
The second time I had my first "real" labor contraction (it is true... you can totally tell) at about 3 in the afternoon, got to the hospital shortly after 5pm, got the epidural almost as soon as we were settled and he was born at 8:20.

And then the recovery... that's a whole nother story they don't tell you about...
But I won't scare you anymore, LOL!
Don't worry, everyone survives!!

[heather]

Hehe, Kristi I was just like you before I had kids. I just wanted to plan a c-section and get it overwith, no pain of labor or delivery involved. I was terrified. I have to say one positive to that though is that if you expect the absolute worst... if you are aware of the pain and of the risks and you expect the worst you will only be pleasantly surprised. haha!

Seriously, in the end, I'd take doing the labor and delivery any day over the whole 9 (10) months of pregnancy. With an epidural of course. For me, that part was easy and relatively quick compared to the nine months leading up to it. Although I knew I wanted an epidural, no question, I was nervous about it. By the time I got it though, I was in so much pain that I didn't even remember to be nervous about it. And then I was in heaven. It was such a relief. There is no way I could fathom getting through a whole labor in that kind of pain. The way I look at it is, you can do it in excruciating overwhelming pain, sick and almost oblivious to what's going on around you (that's how I felt only halfway through) or you can do it relatively pain free and actually experience what's going on around you. With the epidural, you can still feel things... it's not like you're paralyzed or completely numb... you still feel the tightening of the contractions and you can still feel your legs and such, just not the pain. And you can't get up and walk. You still feel what's going on with your body; I could still feel when my body was ready to push, and then do it. I guess everyone's experience is different.
Like I said, labor and delivery was almost the easiest part of the whole thing for me... with my first, my water broke at home in the middle of the night, we went to the hospital at about 3am, I had the epidural by about 9am, was ready to go by noon, pushed for 10 minutes (three contractions) and she was born at 12:30.
The second time I had my first "real" labor contraction (it is true... you can totally tell) at about 3 in the afternoon, got to the hospital shortly after 5pm, got the epidural almost as soon as we were settled and he was born at 8:20.

And then the recovery... that's a whole nother story they don't tell you about...
But I won't scare you anymore, LOL!
Don't worry, everyone survives!!

[Jessica]

i've had two natural childbirths. no pain meds either time. it wasn't horrible. nor was it a particularly pleasant experience (except for the part where it was over)... it was all very surreal for me. like people have said, everyone's experience is different. everyone's body is made differently. i personally can't imagine nor would i want a c-section. but i, like michelle, would do it again and again. because you DO forget! we're wired like that. in fact, a few weeks after having my daughter i wanted another. ha ha! also, in my opinion, a lot of the key to a good experience is a good support system, good docs/nurses/midwives. and a lot of it has to do with your state of mind. i gotta agree, there are much more terrifying things, like TEENAGERS! ugh!

[Mary]

Ugh! I had a natural childbirth with an epidural that didn't take. It was painful but you get through it. The part that I was not prepared for was the aftermath. I had a 3rd degree tear and it took a lot longer than 6 weeks for the pain from that to go away. And then even after that, it took months for me to feel normal again. The thoughts of going through it again to this day make me cringe but I would do it over and over if it meant getting more just like the little guy I have :)

[Nicole Barczak]

I remember when I got pregnant with Porter thinking "HOLY HELL there is NO turning back! I have to GO THROUGH WITH THIS!" and I was freaked as hell. I am a big wuss when it comes to pain, and the thought of squeezing.... THAT through THAT was enough to make me want to hurl. That or curl up in a hole and die.

Well, I honestly don't remember thinking much about it during my pregnancy. I remember worrying about it a lot pre-pregnancy, but by the time I was pregnant I was just so excited to meet him. And, by the end, I was so uncomfortable and miserable that I just wanted it over with. I don't remember thinking too much into the act of giving birth, though... I just figured I'd do it. LOL!

The night I went into labor I couldn't sleep at all... I just thought I was having mild cramping/contractions and they weren't painful, but I still couldn't sleep. I was so frustrated and DONE with being pregnant that when I went in the next morning to my doctor's appt. and they said I was 4cm dilated and I was having a baby that day I never though twice... I just thought Jesus Crimony let's get this OVER WITH!

Labor was painful until I got my epidural. I LOVED the epidural. You can still move, and still feel things but not the pain. (at least that's how it was for me). The pushing was a bitch, as Porter came out "sunny side up" (ie... face up, not face down) and it took 2 hours of pushing to get him out. THAT was terrible and painful, but even through that all it was so surreal and just... kind of an out of body experience.

MY worst time was the after delivery... healing. Ick. That was the worst. But, like everyone else says, I'd do it again (as you can very well see....). And, I'd probably do it a third time as well. :)

Now, this time around, there are nights I drift off to sleep and I'm kind of excited to go through childbirth again... then I wake up and I'm like "what the hell kind of drugs were you on thinking that stuff?" HAHA!

[amy]

of course i was scared. with each child, as my due date approached, i would ask my husband, "i have a few more weeks left, right?" i even did this on my actual due date. i wanted one more week. well the baby will come when he/she is ready!

labor was scary but i would do it again. the body/mind works miracles. somehow i think the mind heals too, in preparation for one to do go through it again.

having said all this, it is the most amazing experience i will ever have. i would absolutely do it again. don't let anyone scare you! if it's what you want, it's so worth it. though your life will never be the same, having children is like waking up on christmas. it's just awesome!

[Robyn]

I was scared beyond belief. I was prepared for the worst, and when they told me I was having contrations and couldn't feel them I was like hey this is ok, but before things could go south, they found out the girl was breech and had to do a c-sect. Which I will admit was ok. I did have pain afterwards, and still have some weird numbness around the scar now and then.

[April (Mrs. Velvet Cak)]

Kristi,I can relate to you on this topic. Just the stories alone have scared me off from ever having a kid. I don't even like the smell of hospitals. I only visit people in them if I know they are going to die. I guess some people aren't made for baby manufacturing and I happen to be one of them!lol

[Sarah S.]

I was more scared of child birth before I got pregnant. Then once I was, I knew it had to come out somehow. I had some issues with my labor which required me to have an emergency c-section and because of how the hospital did things, I was tilted slightly to keep baby off my major artery and all the epidural ran to one side so I felt the surgery on the right. Having experienced what I did, I'm a little tempted to try vaginally next time but don't want to end up in the same position again...the only way to try preventing that is to hand pick the surgical team and make sure I don't have the same anesthesiologist again because I DID NOT like him. Recovery after a c-section isn't too much fun either, have to be careful with how you move, how often you move, breastfeeding can make you sore from baby's weight on your incision...etc.

[jenny]

oh boy - child birth.

i am pretty sure i was more scared about it before i got pregnant. once i was prego, i knew there was no turning back! the classes at the hospital made me cringe a little bit - i'll be in labor for how long? - is what i was thinking.

i had tucker @ 33 weeks. i was FREAKING. i had had contractions all day, that night i was spotting and called the birthing center. they told me to come in right away. on the way down my contractions were 3 minutes apart (i live an hour from the hospital). fun stuff i tell ya. we got there, i got in a room at 9, at 930 my water broke and that's when i think i went into shock. i couldn't believe i was having a baby who wasn't due for seven more weeks. i had tucker at 1103 that night. i had no drugs as it all happened way to fast. it really was not painful at all, but then again, i was pretty much in shock from the whole experience.

i would do it over again in a heartbeat.

[zoe]

i have given birth to 4 children and have to say that it is not as horrible as everyone makes it sound. i was induced with 3 and never had pain meds with any of them. i have to say i am lucky because my labors tend to be quick. the longest was 6 hours.

[Rolana]

Yes, I agree totally! The whole thing scares me to death. Ever since I was in nursing school and got to see it firsthand, it has put fear in me. But I really do want kids someday, it's one of my dreams.

[Heath]

No worries Kritti! I weighed 105lbs when I got pregnant and gave birth to a 9lb 2oz baby girl with NO meds, not even an aspirin, and the whole thing was over in 1 hour and 10 minutes. I think everyone is different. Mckenzie Violet popped out with no issues and believe it or not, I would do it again. Oh lord, did I just say that?