Thoughts for Thursday: Little girls and Make-up

Wearing make up.
For many young women this is a Rite of Passage, something you grow into around the pre-teen and teenage years.
Imagine my surprise as a teacher to often see girls as young as 1st grade wearing make up.  Lipstick.  and EYELINER.  I am not even kidding.  At one school I worked at there was a tiny, cute little Asian girl whose mother put eyeliner on her everyday.  She looked like a teenager in a 4-5 year-old's body.  Isn't that sick???  And this kid wasn't playing dress-up and wasn't in beauty pageants or anything (I am having flashbacks of Jon Benet Ramsey).  Even though I don't agree with putting make-up on little girls, I have noticed that some cultures have a different view of make up so I try to keep an open mind about it.  I know that many little girls love to play "dress-up" and that many toy companies produce make-up kits for little girls, but I also think those little girls and their mommies know that they are just playing.
Many mothers have a different view of wearing make-up than their daughters who want to start wearing it (from my experience, usually between ages 12-14).  Moms want to protect their daughters and prevent them from growing up too fast or having boys take advantage of them.  Adolescent girls view make up as a tool that makes them feel slightly more independent and grown up, and since they are also starting to notice boys, it probably makes them feel more attractive.

My mom had a strict make up policy: No make up until I was a teenager.  I can't remember if she gave me a specific age, but I remember I was ready to wear make up long before she was willing to let me.  I think I was around 6th grade when I started sneaking mascara and lipgloss onto the school bus so that I could apply it before school and my mom would never know.  By 8th grade she finally gave in and I think I have been wearing it ever since.

So my questions for today are:

How old were you when you started wearing make up? Were you ready before your parents? At what age would you allow your daughter to wear make up? What do you think about little girls wearing make up in general??

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Other TFT posts today:

Dana Leigh on dreams

Helmet on savoring your treat now or later

Ang on Immediate Family

Comments

[Ang]

I don't wear much make-up to this day... I remember my mom always putting it on me when I would play dress up, I think because of that I didn't feel a huge rush to wear it on my own. I think I started playing with it more when I started middle school (7th grade)... but never really got into it on the regular.

As for younger girls now-a-days... I feel all girls and growing up WAY too fast! The short skirts, UGGS and cell phones are beyond me! Make-up is another story... I'm not exposed much to younger girls but I don't think they should be wearing it until around middle school time. I think mothers need to at least make sure they aren't wearing it out of the house and on the weekends to the mall... sneaking it out of the house is beyond their control, as you did. :)

[Julie]

I know I tried to wear make up in 5th grade because a friend of mine could wear it and I got busted by my mom and that was the end of that. Honestly, I don't think I would have gotten busted had I not had on eyeliner, but oh well. LOL I think it was 7th grade when they started letting me wear make up. I know my mom didn't like eyeliner on me at all and I think I had to fight that one a bit to get her to let me wear it that young.

As for my daughter, I will make her wait until she is 13, as I had to, just because I don't think she should be in a rush for it. Will I let her use it for dress up and play time when she is growing up? I am sure I will, that is all part of it, but wearing it out and to school, not gonna happen until she's a teenager.

I definitely do NOT agree with elementary school girls wearing make up, outside of playing dress up. 1st grade?! That is just waaaaaay too young, in my opinion.

[Denise]

WOW that is Crazy! I wasn't able to wear it until I was either 12 or 13. But of course played "dress-up" before that at home with friends.

I would never allow my child to wear make-up other than while playing dress-up until she was 12. And then I think that gloss, eye shadow and mascara is all they need.

[Denise]

Great TFT!! I think I was allowed to start wearing makeup in 6th/7th grade (If I remember right)But the only thing we were allowed to wear was eye shadow/mascara/lip gloss. I do think that kids are getting too sexy to fast and it seems that they are getting younger and younger with what they wear and how they dress...no need to rush into anything they will have a chance to do all of that when they are older. I have 2 young daughters 8 and 5 and they love to wear clear lip gloss (which is fine with me-I love lip gloss too)But I know that I won't approve of it until they are much older and know how to wear it PROPERLY!!

[LesleMora]

OMG! I feel so old! I can't remember when I started wearing makeup . . . I think high school. I'm going to have to investigate and look back through some pictures.

I don't wear a lot of makeup now, and as I have since I started applying the stuff, I go through phases, wearing lipstick or not, wearing mascara or not.

My 5yo likes to play with mine. I know she is imitating me and she always ends up looking like a clown, which I say is good for her . . . but makes me wonder about how she sees me. I don't want to argue with her about it. My goal is to not make an issue of it, and not place much importance on it so that she will just grow knowing that she looks fine without it.

Well see how it goes.

[Stephanie]

Hi! I'm Kim's friend, and I just started my own blog today but I've read yours before and I thought I'd comment on this. I was a big tomboy growing up so I had a little different take on makeup. While my sister had the overflowing caboodle that had every shade of blue and purple eye shadow a girl could want, the only blue or purple on my eyes were when I caught a line drive to the face in a softball game. As I got older I started wearing it more and more. Eyeliner is especially needed in my life as of now... my friend Nicki who is a cosmetoligist put it best why... "Stephanie, you need eyeliner because you have kinda sunken eyes and they don't stand out"... well after I was horrified by the comment I have worn it daily since. Love your blogs!!

[noel]

I think little girls should not wear makeup. Even nail polish is a bit much for me. But that might be becuase i have 3 little boys. If I had a daughter and had her beggin me to "dress up" then I might cave in and let her. I would probably be on the "here is some cherry chapstick and we can paint your nails clear or clear/pink" spectrum....lol.

I think I was about 13 when I started to wear makeup. Eye liner, powder, and mascara was about it. Even now I'm really not into makeup. My makeup routine takes 5 minutes tops. Powder, mascara, lip gloss and on a good day some blush. :)

[sarah]

I think I was 13 or 14...I was a freshman in high school when I could finally wear makeup. All I pretty much wore was mascara though.

still it's a 5 minute or so routine.
bare minerals foundation + powder and mascara.

and if I'm feeling fancy for a special occasion or a night out I might put on eyeliner.

[Kim]

You know me I was raised by my Dad. He was pretty strict about a lot of things but I can't remember what he was like with make up. I know that I really started to wear it when I went into 7th grade.

[adrienne]

My oldest is 12 and only wears lipgloss, and not even a real color....just neutrals. She is showing NO interest in other makeup. Now my 8 year old ALREADY wants to wear EVERYTHING lol. But she too only wears a light shade of pink since her lips are already pink lol. I dont know if there is a certain age to start...it kinda depends on the child. Jaelyn is going to be in a pageant next month and I plan on doing a little mascara and eyeshadow along with lipgloss but that is about it.

[Dana Leigh]

I started wearing makeup in 7th grade. I think it was only eye liner though. Younger girls don't always know how to apply makeup correctly so sometimes they look like clowns or they look like hookers because it's way too much. If I had a daughter, I wouldn't let her wear makeup until she was 13 or so. Lip gloss is fine but anything more than that wouldn't be allowed. Kids want to grow up too fast and society allows it.

[Rolana]

I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until I was a teenager. I can and I can't believe kids that young are wearing makeup. I think makeup makes little girls look strange and encourages them to grow up before their time. I can understand putting on a little if they're in a recital or something like that, but I wasn't allowed to. I do not wear makeup everyday, but recently have gotten into wearing it on my days off and I'm enjoying it.

[christy]

i completely agree with the idea of young girls wearing make up too early.. i never got to wear make up untill 17 and then it was like um yeah how do it do this.. but if i ever have girls i will tell them the same thing.
for halloween i don't know i haven't thought about it , i just got the kid's costumes done, but i do think i will dress with them..

[Robyn]

I think I was in Jr High. I don't think my mom said to much about it. She has never really worn make up, except for mascara occasionally. But it was the 80's and if anyone remembers Cover girl had a 3 eye shadow thing and a thing to show you different ways to wear it. I'm sure I looked like a scary groupie from Motley Crue sometimes. I think Jr High is appropriate and if one offers up some instruction they may be better for it. I was wondering if the Asian girl was a cultural thing.

[zoe]

i beleive i started really wearing makeup in 7th grade. i imagine i well let ava wear makeup in junior high but not much. like mascara and lip gloss....if she is lucky. i hate seeing these elementary girls that look like hookers!

[Mel]

I don't think I was interested in it until I was probably like 13 or so and even then my parents (mom) didn't allow me to wear makeup, which was fine. I started to wear it on a daily basis probably in 9th or 10th grade? My little sister is 13 and she has no desire whatsoever to wear it...but she's one of those freaks that is naturally beautiful.

It's funny you wrote about this because I was just listening to the radio the other day and they were talking about little boys wearing cologne and little girls wearing makeup and how it "sexualizes" little kids too early....it was a very hot topic on the radio!

[Helmet]

I was about 12... loved the cure...kidding...about the cure

[Charisse]

My mom had set rules for set ages.
-age 13, I could wear shoes with heels and my hair out.
-age 15, I could smoke, wear makeup and drink alcohol (but only in the house with her)
-age 18, I could have a boyfriend.
Since I didnt latch onto the smoking, the makeup or the drinking, the boyfriend rule was bent for me at age 16.

I feel that these rules gave me something to look forward to and I set them for my own daughters. One is 16 and got the OK for the boyfriend for the same reason I did. The other one is only 9 so she has time! Thankfully. Now my son, no set rules for him, simple no or yes to his request, stressing the "dont do drugs" and "no sex before marriage" and that is it so far.

[leslie]

How old were you when you started wearing make up? I was around 12 or 13 and started with lipgloss and a little blush and face powder
Were you ready before your parents? I'm sure I was and my mom did let me play with makeup but other than for dance recitals I doubt that I ever got out of the house with anything beside cherry chapstick or clear lipgloss on.
At what age would you allow your daughter to wear make up? probably about the same time (12-13. I let her play now but only with me helping her (she's only 4 and she'll mess up my stuff). I've taken her to the store or church and stuff with lipgloss on and maybe a swipe of light shimmer eyeshadow, but usually she's been playing dressup right before we walk out the door.
What do you think about little girls wearing make up in general?? Personally I think any girl under the 5th grade level shouldn't be wearing makeup to school or other places. But you know that's just me. I think those little pageant girls at age 4 all dolled up are scary. Let the makeup be something they look forward to as they get older if they want to wear it...let them be little girls for a little while longer.

[Samara]

A first grader in eyeliner? I gasped a bit when I read this. I agree, there's nothing wrong with play makeup, as long as that's what it is. I also don't see a problem with lip gloss or chapstick for little girls, if they want it. But I thought I was "ready" for tons of things before I could do them including make up, shaving, driving, and sex. I think I started wearing blush and lipstick around 12, adding full makeup sometime around the next year. As I got older, I was able to look back and see I spent so much time trying to be a grownup that I missed a lot of the fun that is just being a kid. There is a time for all things, but you can mess that natural order up by charging into grown up things too soon. It's kind of like getting married when you're 18. You're still just a baby then, and while it does work out from time to time, it's not generally a good idea for anyone because you still have so much growing up to do. I think it's better to spend life living in the moment rather than trying to live in the next moment. Interesting talking point. Thanks for the thoughts.